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    Maid of Honor... So.. Now What Do I Do?
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    Maid of Honor... So.. Now What Do I Do?

    This November one of my very best friends, Nanci, will be getting married and as if that weren't exciting enough, she asked me to be her maid of honor! Of course I said yes and immediately had thoughts of bachelorette parties and champagne in my head, but apparently there's more to it than that? Who knew?

    This might sound lame, but it's such a huge responsibility and I want to do a really good job but I have NO CLUE what I'm supposed to be doing. You'd think after three engagements I would've made it to this point, right? (I find it best to make fun of yourself before others have the chance) Obviously I'm going to need your help!  Anyone have any fun tips for being the best maid of honor a girl could ever ask for? Fun bachelorette party games/favors/whatever else?


    38 thoughts on “Maid of Honor... So.. Now What Do I Do? ”

    38 Comments / Add Your Own

    • Just ask her what she needs. That is the biggest thing. If she needs help picking anything out or making decisions, give her your opinion. If she just wants to be supported in the choices she has already made, be supportive. For Bachelorette games/parties, I'm all for wine tasting, a spa day, and a lingerie party. Prior to the lingerie party, talk to the groom to get answers to some scandalous questions (you can google them), and then ask the bride or the attendees to answer and then compare the answers.  

    • When brother's fiancee was a maid of honor the bachelorette party was a girl scout theme. All the bridesmaids and bride wore girl scout looking sashes when they went out and had to "earn their badges." Earning their badges would be for doing any sort of things. I know one theirs was "get someone to buy the bride a drink." If that happened the maid of honor would pin a badge on their sash. They were also Troop 1017 which was the date of the wedding. I just thought this was a really cute idea! Good luck!!  

    • For bachelorette/lingerie party idea, ask all the guests to name the piece of lingerie they gift to the Bride, then create a "menu" to give to the Groom to use on the honeymoon.  

    • Pinterest!!!! SO MANY AMAZING IDEAS! I have found tons of stuff on there as well as maid of honor responsibilities, etc :)  

    • A scavenger hunt with a list of things for everyone to do is always a huge hit and a tons of fun!  

    • Must have a lingerie shower!! Theme it to "Little black dress" party and bring lingerie for bride... Or everyone can wear their silk nighties and robes with heels to the party! A hilarious game is everyone making their own lingerie out of colored Saran Wrap (so funny!) and have a runway show with fun music! (Of course champagne before this game helps!)
      Getting emails and phone numbers of all the bridesmaids is a must... You can help your bride keep in contact with them on parties, dates, time for dress fittings, making sure everyone gets their dresses, etc...
      When the bride goes to try on dresses or for her first fitting a fun thing to do for her is to go purchase a small flower bouquet (or make your own) so she can hold in front of her dress to get the "full feel" of the look :) she'll love when you walk in with flowers for her!
      Making emergency kits for the big day is cute and fun!  

    • I LOVE the "panties" game for Bachlorette parties. Each guest brings a pair of panties for the bride-to-be that expresses their own personality. The bride has to guess who brought which panties! It's really funny...plus the bride gets some gifts along with the game.

      I also liked the idea of having each lady guest put on bright lipstick during the party...and make a kiss mark on a white canvas then sign their name next to their lip mark. Frame it then give to the bride!


    • Emily, I was recently a bride and had THE WORST maid of honor!! All I wanted was for her to check in on me and be apart of all the excitement and she wanted nothing to do with it and could never fit me into her schedule. It was almost as if she made it all about her. She didn't throw my shower, my mom ended up throwing it because she didn't want to spend her money, and was more concerned with my bachelorette than anything else. I would suggest being there for ur best friend the whole time and constantly showing her how excited you are for her and want to be apart of every detail! The flowers, the table linens, the venue, the cake, everything! It's a huge moment in her life and she needs her best friend :)  

    • Oh yeah... Ask her what SHE wants to do for her shower and bachelorette, don't assume she is going to want to do what you and your bridesmaids want! Make it about her, that's key!  

    • I LOVED the panty party I was given at my actual bachelorette evening. All girls were asked to bring one pair of panties and I was suppose to guess who gave them to me. Super fun.. and I still have panties that have tags on them two years later! ha! Got lots of little goodies!!  

    • I was my best friend's MOH in June, and one of my favorite games we played at the bachelorette party/lingerie shower was "Wedding Vow Mad Libs" - I found the template on pinterest, and the girls split up into pairs and played mad libs to write wedding vows for the bride and groom. Everyone had to read their vows outloud at the end, and we were all laughing SO hard. Huge hit!

      In general, all you have to do is be as sweet friend and be available for as much as possible - and don't let your bride forget how special her day will be!  

    • That's so exciting!!! YAY to your best friend and congrats on getting "the job"... haha. My only advice is to plan things that she loves. I feel like lots of maid of honors plan on what they want to do and forget about the bride sometimes. However, you will totally be a great MOH... She's lucky to have you!

      Mel from I Pink I Love You  

    • Last summer I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding and was so impressed with how organized the Maid of Honor was! From the very early stages of wedding planning she had an email group going with all of the bridesmaids. This let us all stay in constant contact to discuss our dresses, measurements, planning and ideas! I didn't know many of the other girls either, so this got us acquainted and comfortable with one another.

      As for the Bachelorette party, we spent the day in NYC doing a scavenger hunt! We went through a professional company so we didn't have to worry about the planning of the scavenger hunt details. We had a blast!! After we went out to dinner at Max Brenner (lots of chocolate, can't go wrong). The whole day was fun for everyone!  

    • To me the biggest thing when in this awesomely fun situation is to make sure things are done classy and fun. Getting too raunchy about things is just so unladylike and kind of sets a bad tone. To me, the things you will do, sort of sets the tone for this part of her life. Sentimental, fun, meaningful, happy, love should be wrapped up in all you do. I did a bachelorette party brunch and it was received SO well. I was a little unsure because most of the girls coming could…. get a little loud, but they loved it so much and actually commented on how much more they enjoyed that then going out to “party” and the bride was very happy and thankful. Who knew!? Best of luck and you’re going to do great! Share with us what you do! :)  

    • When in doubt, reference another cool Emily... Emily Post! ;-) Even if old school etiquette doesn't mesh with your friends style and wedding, it's good to know!


    • Yay how fun!! I just got married this summer and had the BEST Maid of Honor! The best thing about her was that she could sense when I had a lot going on and offered to take some of the responsibilities off my hands, and whenever I did ask her to do something, it was done- I didn't have to second guess anything, I could totally trust that she would take care of it! It was such a relief. And I second Pinterest- sooo many amazing ideas! Just listen to whatever she wants and you will do perfectly! Keep us updated on how everything is going!  

    • Make sure she is the one who shines not only on her wedding day, but everyday before the wedding. There is a saying I read somewhere that states, "You are not a special snowflake." Well, ignore that saying and make her feel she is indeed a special snowflake. You will do fine. I have confidence that you will be a great maid of honor. Be sweet, sentimental, loving, caring, and listen to what she wants. Surprise her all along the way to her big day with little tokens of your love and thoughtfulness. Remember, think about the characteristics you would want for your maid of honor when you marry and emulate those.  

    • purchase the book, The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day Paperback
      by Lisbeth Levine . It is the BIBLE of all wedding whether its for your wedding or part of the bridal party. I still reference to this day even though I am no longer married. Have a wonderful time planning and congratulations to your friend :)  

    • Ashley at Sincerely Miss Ash  /  website September 4, 2013 at 3:46 pm

      That is so exciting Emily!! Congrats, you will be great at it :)

      Ash xo,

    • Be yourself and be present. Nanci knows you can handle it.  

    • The best part of the wedding is the pre-fun, I highly recommend getting the ladies together & doing a wine tour for the day, I've done it for 2 stagettes & it was a hit!  

    • You might consider doing everything that the groom would normally do...make Nanci look good. Along the way think ... what would you like for Nanci to do if your roles were reversed? Of course you could always shadow her and ask "Do you need anything?", or "Are you okay?"  

    • Catch the bouquet.  

    • Hi Emily, I am currently in the same position of being MOH for my best friend. Traditionally and what trends currently today, is it is the MOH responsibility to plan and host a bridal shower and the stagette. The bride usually has more than one person from various areas of her life host a shower, e.g. the grooms side of the family, the brides mothers friend...and you. So talk to her about the list and sort of the "group" she wants included at her shower, otherwise it may start to look like another group the size of her wedding reception :-) Also helping to choose her wedding dress, make calls and run errands are helpful. Also on the days prior to the wedding take part in pampering e.g. nail apts, hair apts, facials, ect. Lastly usually you are expected to make a speech about the couple at the wedding.... Good Luck!  



    • I saw an article about some a Bachelorette party at a Habitat Build. I'm sure they followed it with fun after.  

    • First of all, congratulations to your friend for her engagement! Second, you are going to be a great MoH if all you do is make sure you are there when the bride needs advice about anything, someone to drink and giggle with, or someone to vent to. My sister got married August 10 and my other sister and I were her co-MoH's and it was SO FUN.
      These were some of my duties (as MoH and sister of the bride):
      - Go with her to shop for a wedding dress and try not to cry when she finds the right one.
      - Keep a list of gifts from the showers.
      - Help her stamp/stuff invitations.
      - Shop for bridesmaid dresses.
      - Keep the bridesmaids filled in on showers, events, happenings, dress details.
      - Give her hugs, and give them often.
      - Pray for her. For her fiance. For her mother and father. For anyone else involved in the planning.
      - Dance to Hold On by Wilson Phillips (Bridesmaids reference lol..) at the reception with her and the bridesmaids.

      I found that a lot of women we knew from our church, community, and some of her friends wanted to throw her the showers - bridal shower, lingerie shower, any other shower to have an excuse to get together with girlfriends and drink wine. My sister's and my biggest MoH event duty was the Bachelorette weekend. My sister wanted the entire trip to be a surprise and she loved being surprised the whole weekend with new events and activities. If she's into surprises and trusts you enough to take care of it, make sure you know the bride well and what kind of trip they would like and go from there. Some women aren't into the wild and crazy Bachelorette parties with phallic shaped objects every which way. Definitely do a LBD night with fun shoes - BEST NIGHT!!! We were near an outlet mall and were planning to make a trip there so I planned a scavenger hunt for the group and everyone LOVED it! I'm not sure how religious your friend is but we also planned a Bible study in, focusing on what it really means to love and serve your husband, which really helped keep the trip focused on the bride entering a new season of life. The trip goes among my top 5 favorite weekends ever.

      Just remember throughout the whole process, while you may have some really great ideas, they may not be her taste. Don't get upset or offended; it's not your day. I have all these great ideas from Pinterest but my sister didn't like some of them. I had to remind myself that it was nothing personal.

      Sorry if this was way too long, I reallyyy miss all of it!
      Have a wonderful few months, they will fly by!  

    • I think the key is for you to know Nanci and what makes her happy, and even if you think you know.... Ask! Everyone is different, and what may make her happy could be very different from others. I agree with Stephanie that being there is the most important. Going with her to look at dresses, pouring over possible venues.... Whatever it is, be a part of it in a way that supports her.  

    • Emily, you seem like a great person and you will be a great maid of honor. In my experience, you just need to think of what you would want in your maid of honor and be that person to her. Being there when she needs you is what matters most! Have fun!  

    • Just be supportive and present. As a bride, you are faced with many decisions and sometimes it is nice to hear someone elses opinions while at other time it is just nice to have someone support your decisions.

      As for the bachelorette, my maid of honor threw me a surprise party that was "Like a Virgin" theme. I thought me and my soon-to-be husband were having a romantic night out, but when I opened the hotel room door, I found 20 of my closest friends dressed in head-to-toe Madonna costumes. Such an amazing night!! Good luck with your MOH role.....you will be amazing!  

    • My weekend in Charleston was the best!!! We had themes everyday. Friday night was eighties pop star...in which the bride (me) dress as "Madonna" bride. Complete with the pointed body suit with a white too too and a pink Veil and sash. We all went to a pole dancing class. So much fun. Saturday was cowgirl day...went in our "git up" to a day spa and had all the fixins". Then Sunday was night on the town...had a limo pick us up and take us to the library inn where we ate on the roof top in our evening gowns..costume jewelry and boas!!!! All riding around to our " girls just wanna have fun" CD mix. every red light heard our 80's music. Soooo much fun!!! Thank you Kim for making my time so memorable!!  

    • 'Bachelorette' Emily Maynard Has Some Big Wedding News  /  website September 6, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      [...] talked about her worries in a recent blog post entitled “Maid of Honor… So.. Now What Do I [...]  

    • My favorite bachelorette parties involve wine tasting & something at the spa (mani/pedis, for example), and a nice dinner out followed by an evening of hitting up a club (if the girls all like to dance). For mine, we had a private cooking class in West Hollywood (at a posh little vegan cooking studio called Spork Foods) and we hired male models to come serve us the food that we cooked. It was classy with a bachelorette twist! Or (and not every bachelorette will be up for this, but it is positively hilarious with the right crowd), if you want to be a bit more "bold" and "daring" with the bachelorette theme, play a game where the bachelorette has a bag of candies that she needs to empty by the end of the night by finding men that will accept her feeding them to them... or dare the bachelorette to carry around something embarrassing (think along the lines of male anatomy paraphernalia) in her hand without being able to put it down for one hour. These types of "dares" always make the night interesting--and funny!  

    • I am a maid of honor this fall too - and it is SO fun! The bride and I have a shared google doc that we both add ideas to - planning tips, lingerie shopping ideas, new perfume ideas. It is a great organizational tool!

      Tip for the Bride: pick out a new perfume for the big day. Then, only wear that perfume on your anniversaries and special occasions! Its a great way to be celebrate and remember that day!

      more tips on: www.moderncommonplacebook.com  

    • My sister recently got married. For her shower we had everyone bring a bottle of wine and put a message on it of when to drink it ex/ drink this bottle on your 1st anniversary etc... It was super cute and now my sister and her husband have a nice & meaningful wine collection!  

    • What meant the most to my sis was the new Bible I bought her. I had all of the bridesmaids, plus the other important women in her life, choose a verse that encouraged them in life or in their marriage. I highlighted each verse and the girls signed their initials beside the verses. She loved it!
      We also made a scrapbook for her. Super simple: each girl makes 2 pages of her and the bride! Super cute.  

    • Be there for her even when she doesn't act like she needs it! I just recently got married and I noticed that if you talk about your wedding too much people tend to tune out. Many brides don't ask for what they really need because they don't want to bother others and they don't think others care (as much as they do). Check in with her regularly, LISTEN to what her needs and wants are. Keep in mind her personality, favorite colors, and what she likes when planning events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party for her. For her bachelorette party, think of things you used to do together before she became attached, this is one of her last times to be out with the girls fully! Have fun and be you, she picked you for a reason :)  

    • Congratulations on your wedding first of all :-) I am so happy for you and your family. I saw the post with the new puppy and wondering what kind it may be - the coloring and body size reminds me of part Rottweiler - My husband said maybe a rottweiler sheppard mix and there is genetic testing that the vet can do to tell you exactly what it is. Not sure of the cost he said when people buy very high priced dogs people will have it done to make sure they are not being scammed or anything. He is absolutely adorable. Hope you and your family are well.


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